One before, one after




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Thursday, Jan. 20, 2005
Ok, now I see the merits of myspace.com. I'm reluctant.

Also, I meant earlier that the repeating letters must be consecutive. Presences of W's and M's seem to also meet this requirement since they make two consecutive, similar shapes.

Also, I have a 6th sense. When I think of something that I really don't trust but suddenly do or something that I really do trust but suddenly seriously don't, I get a queasy, stomach dropping out feeling.

For instance, I just thought it would be cool to steal a car every morning to drive to work that I would just drive into the creek near my building. I would roll out of the car just before it went over. I could almost convince myself to do this, and that makes my stomach bottom out.

I was first interested in trust as a concept, because it's at the core of all the issues/problems I've been mulling over for the past maybe 4 years. And then I thought, what is the opposite of trust? Fear?

And then I coincidentally thought of what it would be like if you hit the "metal" at the center of Saturn (or one of Saturn's moons, I forget) like a cymbal and what that would sound like. (The helium or whatever gas at the center is so dense, it acts like a metal) Imagining the sound really freaked me out.

Something I trust inherently, sound, becomes something I inherently do not trust or are capable of feeling.

Now, here's something I don't inherently trust, the concept of a god. While reading that book, Cosmic Serpent, I feel like I inherently trusted the "god" it described and felt like it had "communicated with me before." That also really freaked me out, something I didn't trust that I suddenly did.

And, that is why I will never casually date or "hook-up." Haha, just kidding?

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