Last night, me and Matthew were at the Little Italy, or Little Bit-aly, when I noticed a group of meatheads sit behind us. There was not much space for everyone to sit in their chairs comfortable, and I sensed this would bear fruit in a mild fray, but I did not foresee the outrageousness that was going to happen next.

After they finished their meal of cheap subs, pizza, and Pepsi, the chief meathead sitting behind me pushed his chair all the way back and thus launched my chair totally like 45 degrees forward, almost pushing me into our table.

I thought about what was going on for a moment, and then proceded to slam my chair back down and push him back. And then he was all like, you trying to start something and getting mad. I thought some more and then pointed out how their was no room for me to give him anymore space. This confused his rage for a bit. Did I mention he looked like Fred Dirst of Limp Bizkit? But much bigger, and as Matthew pointed out later, time and time again, only big, blond, drunk guys try to scrap with us.

So as the three of them were leaving, the two auxillary meatheads like started staring us down. And then Matthew was like staring them down, and I turned around and gave them a confused look.

Then the main guy starts coming up to the window outside since we're sitting next to window, and proceeds to grab his crotch and basically say that I should suck his dick and fuck you and all that. So I started biting up to the window to indicate that I would bite his dick, and then he hit the glass window and started spitting and giving more fuck you gestures.

The Little Italy guys said don't hit the glass and then he spit some more, and I toasted him with my cup of Pepsi multiple times, and then he was about to wipe his ear wax on the window but then noticed that the Little Italy guys would beat him up for that.

So the friends dragged him up the street, and we were thinking they were going to jump us, and we proceded to plan for their sneak attack. But they went home or something.