Supposedly, Arnold Swarzeneger once said that a good pump is better than cumming. For me, finding a dead roach on my martial arts uniform is better than cumming.

They should make a movie called Teenage Mutant Ninja College Students: The Secret of the Booze.

When a woman is dating me, I predict that my three favorite things will be the following.

Cooking dinner for each other on alternating nights.

Watching cable television together.

Doing all the stupidest things together. I keep getting ideas about some gloriously retarded things to do with a partner.