But this feeling is not unfamiliar. I will tack up my blanket to cover the window again and shut out the world.

This moment reminds me of an event I once attended that was supposed to commemorate my high school graduation.

It was a school sanctioned function to stay up all night and party with professionally provided entertainment. It was in some kind of hi-tech gym. It was horrible.

I basically spent the night wandering around trying to avoid other people as much as possible. My main activity was bouncing a ping pong ball up and down. At one point, I sprained my ankle running around and trying to slide on the slick floor.

Anyways, at the end, it was almost sunrise, and I waited outside for my dad to pick me up. I didn't drive cars like the other folks, and pretty soon, it was just me and a girl named Vanessa who I barely knew. She was not well liked and kept to herself, but at this moment, it was painfully apparent that she really wanted some friends and luck with things working her way. She was crying, for one because she didn't win any good prizes. She liked baseball, and I had won a baseball cap I despised, so I gave it to her, but it was still a sad morning. I was pretty out of it, because I wondered what life had in store for me next after the abyss that high school often was.

I think I will cry when I die, because I will think of something dear to me, a dream. It is hard to put into words, because it will be clearer then than it ever had been maybe.

In other news, the door to my tape recorder broke, and that event almost broke me. But, it stills works if I ram the tape deck up against my dresser. Also, I flossed tonight and got bloody gums, and that is what I call satisfying.